I have come up with the following list of fanatics, which should
cover most categories of poster hangers, but please feel free to
add your own.
1. The teeny. These are early teenage girls who, as yet, are unable
to find any suitably mature similarly aged boys to fall in love with,
so they fall in love with a poster instead. Their main targets are
boy bands, ex boy band solo artists and female solo artists if they’re
in ‘girlie-crush’ mode.
2. The mid-teen. This is where rebellion starts. For the girls,
it’s the biggest, ugliest rap star they can find which will
be guaranteed to upset their parents. For the boys it’s the
most disgusting thrash metal group they can find which will be guaranteed
to upset their parents.
3. The late teen. By now, serious prejudices have been formed and
allegiance to one particular type of music is essential. Having,
or not having, the right poster on the wall can mean the difference
between social acceptance and rejection and will confirm the tribe
that you will now be in for many years to come, if not the rest of
your life.
4. The student. A little like the late teen, but in a very different
way. Has allegiances, but dare not admit them. Will therefore put
up ‘ironic’ posters usually only considered by the teeny
which thus become cool because they are in a student dorm – a
bit like bricks in an art gallery.
5. The obsessed. Can be any age, diagnosed by the fact that all
available wall space of their bedroom or study is plastered with
posters of one particular band or artist. All possible additional
memorabilia will have been purchased and will occupy any available
floor space in their bedroom or study. They only come out of their
bedroom or study for comfort breaks.
6. The trendy. Can also be any age, but has only one motive for
poster hanging – to be in with other people. Easy to spot as
there’s no allegiance to anyone other than themselves. Also
they often get it completely wrong.
7. The musician. Usually male and will have a select set of ‘heroes’ posters
on the wall which reflect his aspirations as a singer, lead guitar
player etc. When you go and see him perform he bears no resemblance
to these heroes whatsoever.
Some people pass through several, if not all of these categories
during the course of their life, I must admit to a couple of them
myself. There’s nothing wrong with being a fanatic, but just
be aware that it’ll always give other people the opportunity
to poke fun at you.
